Thursday, September 2, 2010

For less than the price of a cup of coffee...

So it seems we have a pattern forming here.

Apparently, now, since Im on my way out, NYC has decided to show me all the things I hate about her, I guess to make me feel good about leaving her.

As Im on the train, on my way home from work today, Im standing there in front of 4, really dirty lil kids. I can only assume they were Mexican, they look Central American at least. These kids were filthy, dirty clothes, dirty faces, all in flip-flops, in order to show off the grimiest, most filthiest legs and feet youve ever seen. As if thats not bad enough, theyre all beating the living shit out of each other. Jumping up & down, rolling around on the seats, punching, biting, and literally kicking each other in the face! All the while, pushing against, rolling over, and landing on the innocent bystanders sitting next to them!

 All the while Im looking around for parents, none to be had anywhere, not that I could tell anyway. We get to the next stop, and the lady that was sitting there next to this madness, gets up and gets off the train. Now normally Im not in a rush to get a seat, but I have over an hour ride home, so Im all
"Fuck this Im sitting down."
Soon as this lady stands up, the kid closest to her LIES DOWN! And if thats not bad enough, starts sucking that filthy lil thumb of his, gettin ready to fall asleep!

Uh Uh, Sorry Pedro, 
I literally pick the kids head off the bench, and tell him (in spanish) hes gotta sit upright. He looks at me like God just spoke to him. So I sit down.

Now one of these lil dirtbags decides hes gonna run and tell MOM (they HAVE ONE!?!). 

Im thinking FANTASTIC, I cant wait for this posterchild for negligent parenting to come and TRY to set me straight...but she doesnt. In fact she barely acknowledges the girl. Too busy gossiping with her friend shes sitting with.

But the ordeal doesnt end here, this goes on , stop after stop after stop, for about a half hour. At this point Ive actually scolded these kids a couple times, telling them to stop jumping around etc.

It gets to the point where I actually turn to the "mother" and yell at her! In spanish,

"Hey lady! How about you come here and control your children?!" 

She looks at me in total confusion, "Why?" she says...WHY?   WHY? Youve gotta be kidding me!!! "Because theyre acting like animals, like monkeys jumping all over and on top of the people on this train!"  At this point now Im expecting a fight, or a yelling match at least. But whatdyaknow? she just comes over and yells at her lil baboon kids, sits in between them and gets them to quiet down. I continued to read my paper, and not a peep from them the rest of the way....

I see shit like this almost everyday, if its not kids gone wild, its the American Idol rejects that feel we should have to listen to them butcher whatever crap music it is they listen to, or the ladies with the baby strollers, UGH, how about EMPTY but OPEN baby strollers!!!

{SIGH}
Need I say more?

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Nassau State of Mind (Addendum)

This is something that Ive been trying to explain to my wife, you see, shes not from this country, and shes only been here a couple of years,....but we, NY that is, we're the exception!
The rest of the country is not like this. Crowded streets, busy commercial areas, walking down the block to the grocery store, the laundry, getting on the train and being in Manhattan in 20 minutes...

Theres a handful of cities in this country that might be compared to NY,...and in reality they all fall short, its not really their fault, its just a battle they cant win. When you grow up, and youve been shown that NY is what "city" means,...then places like Chicago, Boston, Philly, L.A. , Miami,....well, theyre just NOT. Ive been in all these cities.The closest one is maybe Chicago,... LA is just too flat, spread out, same thing for Miami, not the same kind of vertical real estate as NY, and Boston & Philly, well they have big city dreams, theyre just confined to about 10 square blocks, and thats all the "city" youre gonna get.


In Conclusion, the rest of country, and this is what I tell my wife, is pretty much just like Long Island.

Big highways, strip malls, gated residential communities, etc.
Good old fashioned Suburbia Americana.

 So I basically expect Irving to be that way.

 Long Island, just without the annoying Long Islanders. WIN!

Friday, August 20, 2010

Nassau (County) State of Mind


This is why Long Island is NOT New York.
Long Islanders for the most part are hated, mocked, looked down upon by New Yorkers.
They know its not NY also, its the reason why they call venturing into the 5 boroughs, even Queens, as
"Goin to THE CITY"

With that being said, I think this is really well done & funny, good job Evan!

Not that hard to fight the nostalgia...



So it took me a minute to decide to actually start this blog, well actually about a week. The idea started as Ive accepted a job offer, in TEXAS! Just a lil' background...
Listen Im a New Yorker through & through. Born & Raised. Queens boy all the way. Met fan, Giant fan, Knick fan. TRUE BLUE,..So you might say Im used to losing.

But this great offer came up, a full time position at a great company, working with great people, friends to be exact, sounds awesome right? Well except its in Irving, Texas. Now my small, angry, narrow, prejudicial, elitist New Yorker mind jumps in and says " IRVING? TEXAS?...Did you lose your mind? Thats like fuckin MAYBERRY!" Ive done some research, (Google is my god) and apparently its a nice lil' up-and-coming suburb,..if that makes me feel any better. But it is a great opportunity, it'll make my wife happy, and I can only assume itll make my life better all around.

 So now comes the part about leaving NY. The nostalgia. It cant, wont be easy leaving the only place Ive ever known. I mean for most of life I considered Boston of all places the only place I would consider living in besides NY. I love NY! T-shirts aside. But lately it seems like NY is not making it all that hard to wanna leave. The inspiration for this blog, and this initial post...

 About 8am Saturday morning, the apartment upstairs (or next door? who knows?) which apparently is undergoing some kind of renovations, decided that I shouldnt sleep late on my day off. The drilling, the power-sawing, thru what sounded like fuckin re-bar went thru my head in a way that I can only compare to a visit to the dentist. As I buried my head under pillows all I could think about was
"God I cant wait to leave NY!"

 The other day Im on the F Train, coming home from work and this bum  
(you will learn this about me, far from P.C.) gets on the train, I really didnt even notice him till he leans over me and yells, 
"IF YOU DONT WANT ME TO SMASH YOU, DONT FUCK WIT ME!".....
 Did I forget to mention the SPIT that flew on my face as he said that?!?! 
Well, Yeah.
"God I cant wait to leave NY!"